


Just One More Night (at the end of the world)

by imincharge



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Clexa Week 2017, F/F, Free day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10137683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imincharge/pseuds/imincharge
Summary: Clexa Week 2017 - Free DayEvery night Elyza and Alicia find a new place to stay, every night Alicia looks at this calendar.But why this piece of paper matters if it's the end of the world?





	

Alicia has a calendar, she marks each day that passes.

At first, Elyza doesn't notice it. You know, is just a girl after a long day looking at this piece of paper. But after some time, it starts to get her attention. Alicia doesn't say anything, and Elyza isn't sure Alicia realized that she knows something is up, so Elyza waits.

Or at least she tries. Until the day she's not even sure anymore if this is a secret, and before she can stop herself, Elyza blurts out.

"What are you doing?" Elyza bits her lips and tries to correct herself. "I mean, if it's okay to ask."

Alicia stops and looks at her, searching Elyza's face as if trying to decide if she's worth of this answer.

"No," Alicia says. "It is not okay."

Elyza says she's sorry, but Alicia already got up and disappeared to the second floor. It's okay, though. Elyza understands when something is off-limits, and she trusts Alicia to know what is best for herself. She just wished that this uneasy feeling on her chest would go away.

The days pass and Elyza tries to forget it. She succeeds most of the time, maybe she wouldn't remember at all if every night she didn't have to watch Alicia with that paper again. Is that a picture? An address? A story? The idea that the girl is being consumed by something beyond of what Elyza can help is killing her. And Elyza can't stop herself from wondering what this is. But every night, as she watches Alicia fold the paper and tuck inside her pocket before going to sleep, Elyza tries to focus on the fact that if Alicia was there, in the middle of the room doing it, instead of trying to hide from her, it was because Alicia trusted Elyza enough not to invade her space. And this was enough for now.

When the truth comes, Elyza is lying on the floor of the house they've decided to use for the night. At this point, they fell into a routine and it feels like everything is the same. Elyza on the ground, the shotgun resting on her stomach and she has an arm over her face to hide it from the light of the candles. She's relaxed, but alert, listening to any sign of danger.

Alicia is on the couch, getting ready to sleep. Elyza can hear her tired breath, the sound of the sheets shifting as she moves beneath it and then, as always, the paper being unfolded. This time, though, Elyza also hears her voice.

"It's a calendar," she says.

Elyza freezes, not expecting it. Not the words and even less the meaning behind them. For once Elyza is so paralyzed that Alicia thinks she didn't listen, but before she can repeat it, Elyza takes the arm off her face and looks at her.

The question behind her eyes is: a calendar?

Elyza is scanning her face, trying to find the answers that the words aren't revealing. But she doesn't find anything. Alicia has this thing about her, the girl can be hard to read if she doesn't want to be. Right now her expression is blank, but Alicia taps the space on the couch beside her.

And Elyza does what she wants.

First, she puts the gun on the ground, checking the safety lock and making sure it's pointed to the wall opposed to Alicia, then Elyza goes to sit by her side.

They're both still wearing their clothes, ready to run at any moment, the only type of clothes you can wear these days. Elyza wears her jeans and leather jacket, Alicia wears a big green cargo jacket. Their knees brush when Elyza sits, and then she looks at Alicia expectantly.

"Are you okay?" Elyza murmurs.

Alicia looks at her. Elyza feels the vibration starts running through her body with their proximity, it's almost like the gravity is bending, breaking, pulling her closer to this girl, and she needs to be strong not to lean on. Elyza is electric with the touch of their arms, but at the same time, the comfortable warmth just feels nice.

"Not now, Elyza," Alicia says, after catching Elyza looking at her lips, then moves away from her. Elyza would have felt bad for what she almost did, but she sees the way Alicia takes a deep breath and makes an effort to look away. She knows the space Alicia is putting between them isn't to stop Elyza, but to stop herself, and this just fills Elyza's stomach with a bubbly happy feeling.

Elyza likes this girl more than she should. Elyza likes all of her. The fierce eyes, the silence - the so many types of silence between them, they could fill a book about it - and the way the world starts to melt around them when they get too close. "Not now, Elyza," the words echoes in her head, until she realizes that it wasn't about kissing her.

"Wait..." Elyza says.

Alicia laughs and pushes Elyza lightly.

"Are you even listening to me?" Alicia asks, with one of those smiles that make her eyes spark. "I said, don't start asking If I'm okay now."

"Oh. Well..."

"I don't think 'okay' is an option after the apocalypse," Alicia says.

"Why not? I'd say I'm pretty okay now..." Elyza gets closer to Alicia, but before her usual smirk can find a place in her mouth, Alicia presses the wound on her stomach. "Hey!" Elyza protests, but her voice is more like a whisper, she's still too aware they can't make any loud sound.

"You almost died today," Alicia says. "Maybe you'll still die because of it."

"Thank you," Elyza answers, sinking on the couch and massaging her stomach that is now throbbing with pain. "I got the message."

"Just stop doing this."

The look on her face says that "this" means "asking me if I'm okay". They talked about it before, it seems that Elyza took the habit of asking if Alicia is okay a bit too far.

"Okay," Elyza says. "I'm sorry."

This seems to be enough for Alicia, so then she takes the paper and gives it to Elyza.

And, as she said before, it's a calendar. Almost all the days are already crossed off.

"It's almost Christmas," Elyza notices. 

"Really?" Alicia says. The look in her eyes isn't good. "Is this all you're getting from this?"

"I- I don't know." Elyza looks at the calendar again. "It's not like any of this matters anymore."

Alicia crosses her arms and even if they didn't move, they're somehow more distant.

"Alicia, you'll have to tell me."

"You won't understand."

"Probably not, but can you try anyway?"

Alicia doesn't answer, she takes the paper back, folds and puts inside her pocket. Seeing this, Elyza closes her eyes and covers her face with her hands. She's tired, so tired.

"The calendar is ending," Alicia speaks, to her surprise. "I guess we won't find a new one, since everything went to hell and nobody is there to keep making them."

Elyza looks at her.

"We could make a new one," she says.

"I thought about that, but... do you know how to do that? It's more than just 365 days, some years are longer and some months have a different number of days."

"Well, we can look at a library tomorrow, search for a How to Create Calendars book. What do you think about that?"

"I think that I miss Google."

Elyza laughs and takes Alicia's hand. It's a gentle move, waiting to see if it's okay, but as soon as their fingers touch, Alicia lets their fingers intertwine.

"Maybe we can start a new calendar," Elyza suggests. "Day 1, Year 1 AEWTH."

"Year 1 A- what?"

"AEWTH. After Everything Went To Hell."

Alicia squeezes her hand, she's laughing.

"This is too big, nobody is going to use that."

"Now we have time to waste on things like that. And the best part..." Elyza tilts her head towards Alicia. "Imagine the future, after the zombies are gone, the order is reestablished, kids at school cursing our names because who'd have thought about naming it AEWTH. The name is awful, for fuck's sake."

Alicia is smiling, but somewhere in the middle Elyza lost her, she could see the way her eyes got distracted with something else inside her own mind. Elyza waits.

"Do you really think about that?" Alicia asks. "That we're going to survive this, that one day the world will be better again, without fear..."

This is an answer Elyza can't give to her, so she just looks at Alicia, while she lets the girl understand it by herself. The silence extends between them, until the spark on her green eyes disappears and Elyza hates that she can't change that.

"There's one thing I'm thinking about, though," Elyza says, raising her hand to touch Alicia's face, to feel her skin, to bring her attention back. "About you. About kissing you."

Alicia leans on her hand, and it's so easy. Maybe the girl is right, and now they live in a world where okay doesn't exist anymore, but it still feels so good when she can touch her skin like that, feel her warm breath, look at the way her lips open beneath her thumb.

"Maybe you should," Alicia whispers.

And maybe it's too late to stop. Elyza kisses her, just to know how it feels to brush their dry lips together, but soon it's all wet, and messy. And Elyza is straddling Alicia, who's trying to take off Elyza's jacket.

"Please, Alicia..." Elyza begs her to stop, but it doesn't feel like it. She's with her eyes closed, feeling Alicia's hands on her body, lifting her shirt. The cool breeze finds Elyza's skin, and she gasps when Alicia's mouth meets her neck. "Fuck, Alicia..." Elyza finds strength enough to pull Alicia away and looks at her. "I want to kiss you," Elyza wasn't going to say that, but when she sees the girl, she can't bring herself to say anything else.

It's like the ground is opening beneath her feet, there's an abyss, and she's close enough to fall on it. If she kisses Alicia, there's no going back. Elyza already wants her, the taste of her lips, the touch of her hands, all her body moving beneath her. She wants it all. But Elyza forces herself to get up. One more second like this and she wouldn't have had the strength.

Even walking to the point as far as possible in the room, she's still dizzy. Elyza holds onto the wall, so she doesn't fall. She still thinks about the kiss, her mouth is protesting, asking her to go back.

"Fuck," Elyza says.

"I'm sorry."

Elyza laughs and dares to look back at Alicia.

"You shouldn't feel sorry for being so hot," Elyza says. She realizes that speaking helps to keep her mind off of all the things she wanted to be doing right now. "I think I need to drink some water." And to take a shower. And to kiss you again.

She's already in the middle of the way when she hears Alicia talking.

"The kitchen is to the other side, Elyza."

"Oh," Elyza stops, realizing that she's walking towards a wall. "Yeah, right. Wrong house, I guess. Thanks. They all look the same..." she mumbles to herself as she disappears into the kitchen.

Later that night, Alicia is sleeping on the couch and Elyza is back to her place on the floor. Now the candles are almost over, the light is dim, and she probably should replace them, but Elyza found a position so good she wants to stay there forever. Moments of peace like this are rare, and she gets to relax and just be the wrecked mess she is without any consequences.

This is far from the perfect place, the floor is cold, so is the metal of the gun on her belly, but after some time she doesn't really care anymore. It's like Alicia said, there's no okay in the hell. So you get used to what you have.

She's tired, really tired, but she also doesn't want to think about it. She doesn't want to think at all. For this moment, she just wants to be.

The light flicks and Elyza sits quickly. She doesn't know if it was the candle or she slept. Now her heart is racing, and her grip on the shotgun is firm. Alicia is still sleeping, nothing seems to have changed, but the noise of her heart is so loud she's not sure if she's missing any other sound because of it.

"Stupid heart," Elyza murmurs, trying to control her breath.

She needs to light a new candle, she needs to do it for Alicia because she'll be scared if she wakes up in the complete darkness. So Elyza forces herself to stand up and do it.

The new light is bright. It illuminates Alicia's sleeping face. She's not peaceful like people say you look when you're sleeping. She doesn't look stressed, or anything really. There isn't any divine sign of how she's feeling. This is not even her emotionless face. Until this moment Elyza didn't think that Alicia's blank expression was actually one type of expression, it meant she didn't want anyone prying. But this face is different, Alicia is just sleeping.

Elyza thinks about the calendar, she goes through all her memories of seeing Alicia every day crossing off one more box, counting the dates, caring about a future that probably doesn't exist. Doing it all by herself.

She wished she could make Alicia understand that now it doesn't mean anything. The calendar was created by humans for a human's world and now they were living in an age ruled by death. In the rules of the dead, there's no such thing as day and night. The day starts when you need to move (always), the time is measured in fear and the night comes at any moment, anywhere, when you're allowed to breathe one more time.

But Alicia keeps the old calendar anyway.

And if she needs this, who's Elyza to say she doesn't?

Elyza kneels on the ground, taking Alicia's hand. She hopes this is okay. Right now she needs to feel her warm skin, alive, but at the same time, Elyza wants to reassure Alicia, even in her sleep, that everything will be alright. This is the one type of promise you can't make at the end of the world. But then Elyza looks at Alicia sleeping, she feels the soft skin beneath her fingers and remembers the way the girl is always really trying, fighting not just to survive, but to get a chance to live, and Elyza can't not make this promise.

"I swear," Elyza says. "I don't know how, but I swear I'll find a way."

**Author's Note:**

> A little late but here's my contribution to Clexa Week 2017! I wrote this fast to post today, so if you see any mistake or anything, please tell me :)


End file.
